Athletics and Recreation



hi guys it's crystal back again with a new video and today I'm going to be reading my comment up essay that got me into Columbia University my dream school where I applied early decision this video is the last thing the series that I've been filming for you guys on how I got into Columbia and you guys should definitely check out the last when I filmed and posted about the staffs that got me as well as the first one that I found about the extracurricular activities that got me in you can find them linked down below and be sure to subscribe and follow me on all my social medias to make sure that you get all the notifications from my latest uploads before I read this essay I want to say it's also been the best thing ever to be receiving emails from you guys so please keep sending in any questions and comments you might have at info at my Ivy Education org I love reading your emails and I always respond to them so yes please keep sending me everything that you're interested in if this is your first time tuning in I also have an ongoing giveaway on my channel where every 30 subscribers I choose someone to do a 3 essay critique for all you have to do to enter is click the link down below and enter in the email and then also subscribe to my channel and comment down below I entered so to get into the main content of this video my comment FSA was response to the prompt discuss an accomplishment event or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others and I discussed an event that I've already talked about in some detail on this channel which was the telluride Association summer program I talked about it as being an event that you know had sparked a period of personal growth of myself and how it had to influence me throughout the rest of high school and beyond so here we go Bing the buzz of my email nearly jolted me out of my chair it was May at first 2017 the day my decision letter from the Telluride Association summer program task was to arrive my index finger tumbled as oh so slowly I moved my cursor over to the email icon quick joy screams of delight my mother came running in as a hurtled about the room in ecstasy accepted upon arrival to the program I was greeted by the 27 other rising seniors who have been selected to spend the next six weeks together in creative writing and mythology based academic seminars however said seminars only lasted three hours a day and outside of them we have to figure out for ourselves how to abide by the program's three pillars of intellectual inquiry democratic self-governance and community service helping to fulfill the program's goal of creating our own miniature ecosystem and bond like covalent electrons while doing so it turns out that bonding was as fluid of process as chemistry class makes it out to be one night we sat together until 2:00 a.m. with our counselors leading us in questioning why we were there what we brought to the table and who we wanted to be when we left as I listened to the others responses I realized that I wanted to leave as someone who is able to critically engage with the other communities I inhabit since returning from tasks I see much to admire in other communities especially at my school in a mentorship role she played from last year my Spanish teacher helped me figure out what people I want to surround myself with as a student ambassador I myself am responsible for mentoring incoming students and helping them acclimate to the school's unique online parks we don't want their computers to crash on the first day of class the give-and-take between teachers and students and between different students has been the best part of this community for me since I arrived as but a tiny seventh grader however only had tasks have I seen the bravery it takes to defy the desire to engage only with comfort zones by successfully campaign aim to eliminate the additional cost of my school placed upon creative writing workshops making the classes available to all I have worked to make sure every student feels included it is my challenge to my community to notice our differences and to treat each person to equal respect regardless of the differences to have the empathy to notice how each of us contributes to the exclusion of others to create a community where and all members are equally cared for for it is when this occurs that a community truly succeeds to take inspiration from covalent bonds and stick together rather than repel one another with mutual negative charges so that's it my ese was definitely just one piece of my overall application and most schools theses do practice holistic admissions especially in the u.s. so it's definitely never gonna be just one part of your application that gets you in for the most part but of course my essay was a big part of the application and so I have to assume that it played a significant role in getting me accepted I'm definitely not trying to say that my essay was perfect by any means I always look back at it and wish that I could've recorded something or added in some different information I especially wish that the word comes a little bit higher I'm definitely one of those people who tends to go over the word count so it was definitely a challenge for me to fit this into the small amount of space that I had but I think that overall it was definitely worth it the personal statement is such an amazing opportunity to contribute to the totality of your application and the narrative because you've got just tight in everything you've done you can include your passions and everything that you stand for as a person your own moral and ethical values as well as your accomplishments for me getting into tasks was absolutely something that I had striven to do for a while and I saw it as a big accomplishment for myself personally and it also was such an experience and another itself and then at the same time I got to tie in what I valued at that time in my life to continue to value which was community and helping people and tying that into my experience at ASP and what I learned from there basically the essay is what allows you to show the admissions officer or officers reading it but you're a human being you're not just a pile of stacks on paper I've said it once and I'll say it again but it is so important to realize that it's so much harder to say no to an actual person than just a GPA or an SAT score and your essay is really the only time that you get to do that you might have some supplements or optional ices but they tend to be shorter so it's really the common app essay where you want that to shine if you think of your essay I'll still Dinge pin or key string of your application where everything starts to come together and make sense for the person reading it you'll be that much closer to getting accepted thank you guys so much for watching I think common FST videos are so fun and they can be so revealing and I really hope this one has been helpful to you if you like in the future I can make more videos on the common app essay on my tips and tricks and how to improve what I'm sure is an already stellar common app essay but for now is college application season once to a halt I'm going to be transitioning to a lot of discussion of writing which has been extremely requested on this channel especially for different difficult and interesting and intensive writing camps like the Iowa real writers studio or the Kenyon review young writers workshop and then also competitions that I've had experience with providing creative writing expository writing essays all that fun stuff like the Scholastic Art and Writing Awards I've been getting a lot of requests from you guys in the comments and in my email and on my social media for these types of videos so rest assured I'm going to be delivering so you can keep an eye out for those in the meantime don't forget to Like and subscribe if this video helped you out with your common FSA or gave you ideas for what you might write in the future leave a comment down below telling me what your essay topic was if you're a senior applying this year or if you're a junior or younger leave a comment telling you what you want to write about what you think might be interesting for your own essay in the future and don't hesitate to follow and get in contact with me on all my social medias until next time see you guys I'm so excited to be sharing this with you guys today since I think that common FSA's are so fun and awesome so to get into the topic of this video so to get into the content of this video my comment FSE top so to get into the content of this video so that's it my comment I said it's all about putting your best foot forward and making the best step if you're a junior younger don't

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